


Coffee's not a relationship

by anotherdiana



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Cargument, M/M, episode 204: mea makamae (treasure), figuring it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 05:23:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6643051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherdiana/pseuds/anotherdiana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during episode 2.04: Mea Makamae (Treasure). After meeting Doctor Gabrielle Asano, Steve tries to talk Danny into asking her out. Things don't exactly go to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee's not a relationship

"You left Doctor Asano a coin so you'd have a reason to go back and see her, it's fine."

"That's not true. I left her a coin because she might be able to help with our investigation."

"Really? You know what you should do, you should ask her out for coffee."

It's not like Steve wants his partner to ask the woman out, but it's getting Danny all riled up, which at this point, is the main focus of Steve's day.

"I don't want- I don't- I'm not looking for a relationship." Danny stutters, getting flustered as Steve continues to hound him.

"Coffee's not a relationship, it's a beverage!"

"No, no, my friend, I'll tell you what coffee is. Coffee is a date. It's a date, and dates lead to relationships."

"You're being ridiculous! C'mon Danny! It's just coffee!"

"No, coffee is never just coffee. Unless you are spooning it out of a jar, next to your kitchen sink, first thing in the morning, then it is not just coffee. When you go out, just the two of you, and get a coffee and sit and drink it together, then it's a _date_ , okay?"

"What are you talking about, we go out for coffee all the time, just the two of us. Are they dates?" Steve's eyes widen in realisation. "Oh my God, we're dating."

"We- what?" For once, Danny has doesn't have a catty reply. He sits, quiet and still, staring at Steve in bemusement.

"We're dating. We've been dating, how did I not know this?"

Danny shakes his head slightly, trying to get back up to speed.

"We're... we're not dating, McGarrett. That's not what this is."

Steve turns in his seat to face the other man.

"You just said, when two people go for coffee, it's a date. We go for coffee all the time. We sit, we drink, we talk. We go on dates."

"Okay, okay, would you just keep your eyes on the road. Please?" Danny gestures towards the windscreen, reaching out to the wheel as if he's afraid they'll go careening off the road. "Thank you. We're not dating. That's just two coworkers spending some time together. It's nothing weird, it's just coffee!"

Steve gives it a second, just to let Danny stew.

"I thought there was no such thing as 'just coffee'?"

"Okay, you know what-"

"No, no," Steve interrupts, "you said it yourself, there's no such thing as just coffee. And you know what else, we do other stuff too."

"Other- like what other stuff?!"

"Date stuff! We go on dates. We do couple stuff."

"Like what!!?"

Steve thinks for a moment.

"Like dinner. We go to dinner."

"So what? I go to dinner with a lot of people!"

"Just the two of you?"

"I..." Danny pauses, racking his brain. "Yes. I went to dinner with Kono a couple of weeks ago. That wasn't a date."

"Did you split the check?" Steve asks.

"Of course we split the check."

"We never split the check."

"I don't see your point!"

They've reached HQ, but Steve drives straight past, wanting to finish this conversation. Danny doesn't seem to notice, too busy staring at Steve's face with a mildly horrified expression.

"My point, Danny, is that if it's a _friend_ dinner thing, you split the check. If it's a _date_ , one person pays for the other. We never split the check."

"We never split the check because you always _conveniently_ forget your wallet!"

"Still a date."

Danny huffs, and throws his hands in the air in defeat.

"We ride to work together." Steve adds.

"Only because you don't like me driving my own car."

"But you come and pick me up. You could leave me to drive myself in."

"Don't tempt me."

"I'm just saying, it's out of your way, but you still come and get me every morning."

Danny nods, again conceding the point.

"Yeah, well I'm starting to seriously rethink that."

"You have a key to my house."

"I have a key to my mother's house too, am I dating her as well?"

"How many toothbrushes are there in my house?"

"I... no, what? You've lost me."

"How many? How many toothbrushes-"

"Three! Okay?"

"Whose?"

"Yours, mine, and Grace's."

Steve smirks.

"Both you and your daughter keep a toothbrush at my house, just in case you stay over. Your daughter has her own room. You keep spare clothes in my wardrobe."

"You're a terrible, terrible human being."

"Y'know, we're not just dating. We're in a relationship, Danny."

"Stop."

"In fact, I'm pretty sure we might be engaged." He throws a grin in Danny's direction.

"Okay, just stop. I'm breaking up with you."

"Too late, Danno. You already love me."

"Oh my God. Stop. For the love of all that is holy, please, I'm begging you. Stop. We are not dating, we are not in a relationship. And we are _not_ having this conversation. Okay?"

They both sit in silence for a few seconds, the tension building even higher.

"I call Chin for Best Man." Steve says, suddenly.

"Good. You do that."

"You can have Kamekona."

"What!?" Danny's forced calm shatters. "No, I want Kono to be my Best Man!"

Steve just grins at him.

"Oh, you know what, just shut up."

"Should I wear a tux, or would you rather have me in my dress blues?"

"You're incorrigible."

"You love me."

Danny sighs, in surrender.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Good." Steve finally pulls the car into the parking lot. "Because the sex is going to be fantastic."


End file.
